It is 7:30 PM and no nurse has called to say that (s)he will be there in about half an hour to stick needles in little Sam’s legs. No one is coming to weigh her. To ask how many wet and dirty diapers she had, to listen to her pulse, or to her breathing.
The forms they filled out for each visit were entertaining, and at least a little troublesome. Mostly, they used the “6 Weeks — 16 Years of Age” form. Occasionally, one of them would remember to bring the correct form (Birth to 6 Weeks). There are a number of categories for them to fill out on these forms, and boxes to check within them. Many are fairly standard like vital signs (respiration, heart rate, weight, etc). Some are amusing like “Apperance” where the options were “Appropriate”, “Unkempt” and “Soiled”. Sam was always marked “Appropriate” even on her wild hair days. Some raised an eyebrow like where Samantha’s “Psycho/Social Support System” was deemed “Adequate” — the only other choice was “Poor”. Others were offensive where some of the check boxes under “Skin” were “warm”, “birthmarks”, “jaundice” and “pink”. PINK?!? OK, OUR baby happened to be pink, but only because we happen to be white-ish,tan-ish,pink-ish,freckle-ish people ourselves. When was this thing written? (Revised 10/99) Would it really be that hard to have the checkbox say something like “Good Coloration”? Or would that be albino-ist?